Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Day One

"Hopes, dreams, and plans for the next 365 days, including a picture of yourself now."

        A new year comes a new time for everyone, a fresh start, a do over of all the mishaps and mess up's from the previous year.  Everyone asks themselves, Will next year be different? Will I be different? Will the world be better to me?
        Unfortunately, you have no control over how the world treats you, you only have control over how you react to it.  The only person or thing you have any kind of control over is yourself, so if you want to make a change, that is where you should start. 
        So, instead of thinking, Will the world be different, ask yourself, How can I be different in the world?  What can I change about myself, for the better, to make the would around me feel better?
        It's not an illusive idea, but an optimistic point of view that things can change, and only you can change them. 
        So, what are my personal hopes and dreams for the coming year?
        I only have one, and that is to finally, after 13 years of being stranded and reliant one others for rides to everywhere I needed to be, have my my own car.  Nothing fancy, nothing expensive, just an old, used, simple clunker that will get me to the grocery store and all my doctors appointments and to the gym.  
        Once I have my own car, I will be able to attain a second goal, and that is to get a gym membership and go swimming and walking 3-4 times a week.  Not to be skinny and hot, but to get healthy and live a long time so I can watch my son grow up and graduate and become everything amazing he is bound to be, and maybe even meet my grandchildren. Being without a car, and living where I live, I have not been very active over the past 2 years, which has made me gain quite a bit of weight.  I do not feel healthy anymore and it's very uncomfortable being this heavy.  My bones can't support much more.
        I do believe these two goals together are the stepping stones I need in order to achieve my ultimate goal (with in the next few years) which is to return to work.  There are other goals I need to attain before I even start looking for a job, i.e., what do I want to do and where do I want to work? 
        Being a writer has always been my dream, but let's face it, unless your J.K. Rowling, Steven King, or you have the ability to write Mommy-Porn-Twilight-fan-fiction, change the characters names, and call it a best seller, writing isn't guaranteed to pay the bills.  I have been published in a short story anthology this past year, which had been a goal of mine since... well, forever.  
        I would love to be able to go work at an office part time, while my son is in school and be able to stay home with him nights and weekends. But this is a long term goal, that will take more than one year to achieve.  I will never stop writing, but until I, myself, make the New York Times Best Sellers list, I think I am going to eventually need a day job. Staying home all the time, especially without the ability to go anywhere even when I need to, has caused more stress and anxiety than I had before moving.  Cabin fever can be a dangerous thing when you already suffer from extreme anxiety.  
        I am looking forward to 2014.  I have a very positive outlook for what is to come and how I am going to make things happen for myself and for my family.  I hope all of you have a wonderful new year and remember, now is all that matters. 
        Now, here are a few recent pictures I have of myself. 
December 17, 2013 (most recent picture, but it's kind of blurry, so I'll add a few from the Christmas pictures we took later that day.)

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