"If you could change something about yourself, what would it be? And why?"
Oh, so many things.
I'm an American, all we ever want to do is change our selves, thinking it fixes us somehow. That it makes us better human beings to get bigger boobs and less wrinkles.
I would like to do then one thing every woman alive in the country wants, and that is to lose weight.
However, the difference between myself and most other women is that I actually need to lose weight to be healthy. If you go to your doctor and he tells you that you're healthy at the weight you are, then you do not need to lose weight. It's really that simple.
"But OMG I wear a size 8! It's socially unacceptable to be anything more than a size 2!" (...welcome to American society)
Whoever told you this, what ever fashion magazine that uses way too much Photoshop to make their models look taller and thinner gave you that idea, is a fucking moron. And they're wrong.
I understand that some people have a genetically predisposition to be very thin and I know some girls who try to gain weight and can't. It's a medical problem, sometimes caused by hyperthyroidism. But in my head, when girl talks about wanting to be a size 0, all I can think is why? Zero isn't a number. Zero literally means nothing. Why would anyone want to be nothing?
I would like to be healthy. Physically and mentally.
I would also like to be able to speak.
I don't mean that I can't talk, but in certain situations, I shut down and don't say a word. In any kind of confrontation or argument, I just stop talking. I think of things I want to say, but I can't say them. It's like the connection between my brain and my mouth turns off under pressure and I can't form words. It is incredibly frustrating and I hope that one day I will be able to say what I want to say without being afraid of the consequences. And I don't mean saying things I will regret or that are hurtful, but just... be able to say what I need to say.