Sunday, May 18, 2014

Day 138

"How have you changed in the past 2 years?"

        I overcame my fear of driving, got my license, and got my first car.  
        I don't write as much as I used to, which makes me sad. I feel like I've lost my Mojo, my muse, the wonderful thing I had when I wrote... and I don't know how to find it again... That makes me even sadder. 
        I find myself feeling lonely more often than I ever used to. 
        My repressed anger is starting to show it's ugly face.  
        I want to go out and do more things than before, but I am still limited with crowds/busy places.  Can't go to Walmart on a Saturday, but I can on a Tuesday. 
        Less panic attacks, but that depends on the day and my mood, and my hormones and things that happen around me which I have no control over.  I do not like things I have no control over. 
        I am more open to the idea of getting a job, but it cannot be in customer service, or anything that involves working with a lot of people.  I need something that keeps me busy, where I can work by myself and spend most of my time alone.  I don't think a job like that actually exists, but I am finding myself bored, a lot.  I need something to do... Something to look forward to. A purpose.  I don't know... 


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