Thursday, May 22, 2014

Day 142

A little deeper, a bit more personal, and totally ranting Jess.

        Most of you know that I am a mother.  Although, I am not technically single, my fiance is not my son's father.  His father and I broke up 6+ years ago when our son was around 3 and I moved back home.
        I can't remember if I ever posted my feelings about Child Support (I'll have to check), but to put it simply, I never wanted it.

(this was me!!)

        I have personal reasons on why I never wanted it; the biggest being how Child Support was perceived when I was a child, and up until I was 21, when my mother no longer received it for me, and basically told me that if I was going to live in her house, I needed to pay her that money.
        Now, don't misunderstand me, I never expected a free ride, but I was 21, had no job, no car and a 6 month old baby... The idea of me getting a job and figuring out how I was going to pay her almost $500 a month, find daycare, let alone afford daycare, on top of that, was incredibly daunting.  That was one of the reasons why I moved to Binghamton 10 days after my 21st birthday.
        At the time, my son's father had a good job at a bank, and I was the primary care giver for our son, aka stay at home mom, and it worked... for about two months.

        Even when I didn't live with my mother, at 18, 19 and 20, had my own apartment and was paying my own bills with student loans/financial aid while going to school, she still got Child Support for me, and even to this day, I don't understand why.  Because I came home on weekends to do my laundry?  I don't know.
        Let's just say that the money was not spent on me.  Even as a kid, if I needed new clothes, she never had enough money.  I don't think I was a demanding child, the jeans I wore were from Sears, they were the same brand for like 5 years, and I only ever got them when they were on sale for $20 and we had a coupon for some percentage off.  I had like 3 pairs of jeans at any given time.  I was okay with that, I liked my jeans.  They were comfortable and not totally out of style (flare, baby.  always needed flare jeans lol).
        My mother almost used the Child Support as alimony.  I don't think she understood what Child Support is used for.  Yes, I can understand it being used to keep the heat on or something like that, but for so long, it was just vengeance.  My dad burned her, so she was going to burn him right back.

        But recently, I have had an awakening.  An epiphany, if you will.  I am not a greedy person.  I'm not money driven or materialistic or shallow (at least I hope not).  What I am is sick of being the only parent who takes care of our son.  My fiance also supports him, and it's not even his job to do so, but he doesn't mind doing it.  My issue is that my son's father truly thinks he has no responsibility in the world.  He lives at home, doesn't have a job, doesn't pay rent or bills or do anything but play video games, which BTW, are MMO's that you pay monthly for... and I can't seem to figure out where Baby Daddy is getting the money to pay for these.
        So, I filed for child support.

       I don't expect to get much.  It's not about the money for me.  It's about him understanding that he needs to step up and take responsibility.  My fiance pays A LOT in child support every month, more than our freaking rent, and all his ex ever does is bitch that it's not enough, and that he's "stealing" money from their son, when everyone knows she is not using ALL of that money on him.  I mean, COME THE FUCK ON, IT'S MORE THAN OUR RENT!! 

It's her spending money. 

        If I ever do get a child support check, it will be used on my son, for my son, or put into an account for my son.  Because it's wrong to use money for your kid on yourself, and it's wrong to be so selfish and greedy that you send your kid to his fathers every weekend (supposed to be every other, but you "can't handle him") in old, beat up, holey hand-me-down clothes, so you can go buy a second 3D TV, a third iPad and a 175k house.  
        And it will never be enough...

        I'll be lucky if I get $25 a month, but I'm okay with that, because I'm not greedy.

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