Thursday, July 31, 2014

Day 212

"What do you want for your birthday this year?"

        I would love to go to the Bodymind Float Center and go into a Sensory Deprivation Chamber. It's always been something I've been interested in trying and they have one right here in Rochester. It is said to help with creativity, healing the body and mind, and sleep disorders, so it really is everything I need. 
        I'd also like to go on a road trip to Maine.  Go through CT and visit Washing Depot - the place where Stars Hollow is based. Stop in Salem, MA and see some cool witchy stuff and then head North to Maine and eat some fresh Lobster.
       Also, gift cards are always good. ;-) 

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Day 211

"What is the most inspirational thing you have ever heard?"

        Oh boy.  I've heard so many things, it's hard to pick just one. 

Everything you want in life is just one small step outside of your comfort zone.

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Day 210

"A picture of something that means a lot to you."

My first ever real publishing.  I didn't make a penny and I have no idea how many people read it or liked it or hated it, but... I was fucking published. And it means more to me than anything in this world (i.e., not person).

Monday, July 28, 2014

Day 209

"What are you craving right now?"

        Coffee.  Always coffee.
        And steak with a baked potato... 
        Uh, oh... 

Sunday, July 27, 2014

Day 208

"A picture that always makes you smile."

Dylan looked so much like the new Curious George when he was little.  We would watch the movie almost daily, and we loved it and even now we still watch the PBS show. 

Wearing my old pink snuggie lol 
Stars, I love that smile.

LMAO this one always makes me laugh! HAHA!

Saturday, July 26, 2014

Day 207

"What are your plans for today?"

        To write.  Working on Summer Storm right now. 
        Then going to take cans and bottles back. Grab lunch with the boys. Run to Target to get Matt a new belt, a mop bucket, push pins/thumb tacks, and pillow cases. I swear, I can never find a pillow case when I need one, and they're on sale today. 
       Then I am going to come home, take some pain killers for my foot (yeah, that still fucking hurts), and see if I can finish this stupid Tower Boss in Phantasy Star 4.  

Yeah, that ugly thing who's messing up the ENTIRE SOLAR SYSTEM!... I am way above what level I need to be, but he's still a bitch to kill. 

Friday, July 25, 2014

Day 206

"Longest.Week. Ever."

        I am so exhausted today, mustering up the energy to write this blog post, is going to make me need a nap.
        So, I am taking a sabbatical. Just for today.

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Day 205

"A photography picture taken by you."

I don't know why it's so blurry/small, but I took this picture when we lived in Binghamton, just a few weeks before we moved back to Rochester.  It is my son putting his crocks on.

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Day 204

Had a Bad Morning

        Can't get into the details, but let's just say I had a very important meeting with someone, sat around for over an hour waiting, in a busy place that I hadn't been to before, and they never showed up. Now, I have to wait until September. This put a serious downer on my entire day. This meeting has been giving me serious anxiety for the past week, and to have to wait almost two more months, just for them to (most likely) not show up again, is going to give me more unnecessary anxiety. Which makes no sense because I have nothing to be anxious about, and the person not showing up only makes them look bad.
        It's just the waiting that makes me anxious, and not knowing what to expect. I like to be prepared for stuff. Why can't people just be responsible adults and do what their supposed to do??

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Day 203

Y day 

        Today, I am taking the boys swimming at the Y in Webster because they have two outside pools and it's awesome. Then, afterwards, we will probably run into the Wegmans that's right across the street for some lunch and water. We go through so much freaking bottled water in the summer. And Matt needs a case for the truck.
        It's really freaking hot today and I have a feeling a part of me is going to get burned, no matter how much sun screen I use.

Monday, July 21, 2014

Day 202

Going to the Beach

        This week is a busy one.  I've got both boys, so it should be a fun filled, entertaining, exhausting adventure. My post will most likely be late and back dated, so I apologize for that. I didn't get a chance to schedule them ahead of time like I did last week. 
        I hope the water's not too cold! 

Sunday, July 20, 2014

Day 201

"List ten people you would die for."

          I can't, because here is only one.

My Dylan.

Saturday, July 19, 2014

Day 200

"Name a few bad habits of yours."

        Every once in a while I will smoke a cigarette. I consider myself lucky that I have the ability to smoke one and be okay for a few weeks or months before I want another one. I know a lot of people who can't put it back down, or just socially smoke, which I also tend to do.  But it's normally only one or two, and I am good for a while.
        I also pick my nose, and I don't even realize I am doing it. It's one the worst (and most disgusting) habits in the world, and the fact that I am oblivious to it, just makes it even worse.
        I eat when I am bored. Even if I am not hungry and possibly even full, I will keep eating just because I need something to do. It's such a bad habit. 
        I really need to find some better hobbies...

Friday, July 18, 2014

Day 199

"A New Song You Really Like."

        I have a few.

Habits (Stay High) by Tove Lo

Try by Colbie Caillat

Big Girls Cry by Sia

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Day 198

"What are your feelings on gay marriage?"

        This song pretty much sums up exactly how I feel about it.

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Day 197

"A picture of you and your best friend."

         Well... that's hard, because I have more than one. As I have said before, I have few friends, but I consider them all my best. 

My Bubby Katie and I

My Jackie and I

My Alyse and I

My fiance, Matt, and I

My wifey, Lindsay, and I (like 10 years ago!)
My hair... was so blonde lol

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Day 196

"What do you remember most about last winter?"

        How fucking cold it was. And the snow. All the fucking snow.

Monday, July 14, 2014

Day 195

"Summer or winter? Why?"

        Summer, because I hate the cold and snow. And I hate driving in it. I also love the sun and flowers and green trees and grass and swimming and just reading outside in the sun. I also have seasonal depression, on top of my normal depression, so winter time makes my moods a lot worse.

Sunday, July 13, 2014

Day 194

"What do you always carry around with you?"

        Phone, keys, wallet. A notebook. Pens. A book. Tissues. Hair ties. Eye drops. Emergency medicine. Breath mints. And ear buds, if necessary. 

Saturday, July 12, 2014

Day 193

"How would you feel if one or both of your parents died?"

        ... I don't know.

        Obviously, I would be sad, but ... death is one of those things the living can't understand, because it's not something you can experience and come back to talk about. I don't care how many people read the book or saw the movie "Heaven is for Real", or any of those other books and movies you see about people dying and coming back and "remembering their near death experience." You were dreaming, possibly hallucinating; move on. Stop trying to profit from other peoples misery. Stop trying to justify death, especially when it comes to kids, because there is no justifying that, ever.
        I think if it were sudden, I would feel shocked. That's a pretty normal reaction, when it happens out of no where. Then I would feel angry and cheated out of the years I didn't get to spend with them. Then I would regret not spending enough time with them. Sadness would overcome me for along time. I'd cry a lot. I'd talk to them, even though they wouldn't physically be there. I'd write... maybe. I'd drink... a lot. I would probably have some kind of family get together, and talk about all the good times I had with them and all the happy memories, and maybe that might help me ease into acceptance.
        If it were something that was a long time coming, a struggle with some sort of illness, and we were more prepared, I think it might be a little easier, because I'd be able to spend time with them and help them do the things they've always wanted to do before it's too late. I'd be able to tell them how much I love them, and say goodbye.
        I think the only thing worse than losing is parent is losing a child. And even though I write all of this thinking "This is how I would probably feel," I cannot tell you for a fact how I would feel, because it's not something I have experienced, and I hope I never have to for a long time.
        I can only imagine what it must feel like, and I am truly sorry to anyone who has gone through it.

Friday, July 11, 2014

Day 192

"You are told you have one week left to live; how do you spend it?"

        Probably in bed, pumped full of pain killers, sleeping in between bits of visiting family and friends.

Thursday, July 10, 2014

Day 191

"What do you think your life will be like in 10 years from now?"

        I think it's going to be awesome.  
        My kid will (hopefully) be in college, learning amazing things about whatever it is he wants to learn about, and doing amazing things because he will be 19 and that is just so insane to me. I will be on the verge of turning 40. My life will be good. I am optimistic that things work out with my fiance and I, and by then maybe we'll even be married. Our kids will be grown, and him and I can travel around the country, maybe even the world. His son will probably end up doing something with cars or video games, maybe go into game design, or become a mechanic. He says he wants to be a cop, so maybe he will do that. I feel like everything is so wide open for all of us now, that anything is possible. Maybe I will be published again, with a full length novel or two or more. Maybe I'll be waiting for the movie version of my book to come out. 
        I think our lives are going to be phenomenal.

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Day 190

"What is your favorite type of music?"

        I have a very diverse taste in music. I like some pop, rock, new age, classical, ambient, alternative, jazz, oldies, etc. The only music I really don't like is country (twangy and annoying), rap that is impossible to understand, and death metal when they scream into the microphone and you can't understand them. I'm not a fan of the screaming or yodeling. And I don't care what you say; country music is one big, annoying yodel. (The only country song I "like" is Backwards by the Rascal Flatts, because when you listen to the lyrics, it's so true, and hilarious.)
        I listen to a lot of classical/ambient music when I am writing because lyrics tend to distract me.  I listen to a mixture of music when I am cleaning or driving or sleeping, even.  I have a bunch of different playlists on my phone, each one designated for what task I am doing. 
        Some of my favorite musicians/artists/performers are Florence + the Machine, MS MR, The Naked and Famous, Ed Sheeran, Sia, John Mayer, Bjork, Coldplay, The Cinematic Orchestra, Conor Oberst(Bright Eyes), Lana Del Ray, Digital Daggers, Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zero's, Imogen Heap/Frou Frou, Goldfrapp, Hans Zimmer, Jason Mraz, Jem, Yuna, Lily Allen, Lorde, Macklemore, Mika, Murray Gold, Sara Bareilles, Sick Puppies, Snow Patrol, Toro Y Moi, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Michael Jackson, BSB, Britney Spears, Lady Gaga, and there is more I'm sure, but just can't think of right now.  

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Day 189

"What is your life motto?"

        I actually have two, if that's okay.

Monday, July 7, 2014

Day 188

"Do you like to give or receive?"

        Well, if I'm being honest, both. I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy getting birthday or holiday presents, but I also love giving presents because making other people happy, makes me happy. So it's kind of a two way street. When someone takes the time to think about me and think "What should I get Jess for her birthday?", it makes me feel special and important and like some people actually like me enough to think of me, so yes I love getting presents. But if I ever had to choose between giving and getting, I would always choose to give. 

Sunday, July 6, 2014

Day 187

"What is your zodiac sign, and what do you think it means?"

        I am a Libra.  I can identify with some of what they say Libra's are, but other parts are not me at all.  
       "Libras are the diplomat of the zodiac. They are able to put themselves in other's shoes and see things through another person's point of view. They are the ones that always want to make things right and have balance and harmony in their life, their surroundings and the lives of the people close to them. They have captivating charm, elegant taste and they are easy to like due to their eager-to-please, easygoing nature. 
        In return for a Libra's amazing ability to be a good listener, sooth and calm people, they expect admiration. Libras will gather a group of people, everyone will become friends then the Libra will be in the center of the group. They like the attention and the admiration for the people that they have brought together. Libras are very intelligent, they often hide this inside their easygoing exterior. They express their intelligence through creativity, most are involved in some sort of artistic or creative pursuit. Many people overlook just how intelligent a Libra actually is. When others see a Libras wide range of interests and hobbies, their intelligence and creativity is more then obvious. Libras love variety and different situations. They welcome change. Libras love luxury. They will spend lots of money and surround themselves with beautiful things and they seem to be constantly fussing over their appearance. They love anything upscale and classy. Libras work hard to please others, this they do and others find them incredibly captivating."

Saturday, July 5, 2014

Day 186

"What is the difference between living and existing"

        This is a very deep question... I like it. But, to keep it simple, living is active, while existing is passive.  Living is doing, while existing is just being.  
        It's not the quantity of years you have in life, but the quality of your life.  I know people who have lived more in 20 years than those who have been alive for 80.  You can exist without really living.
        I know that when you look up the words "live" and "exist" in the dictionary, they are synonymous, but when you really think about it, deep down, they are almost exact opposites. 
        I think, for me, existing is just being alive, breathing, eating, sleeping, and all the stuff humans naturally do.  But Living... that's doing what you love, and what makes you happy, and feeling everything you could possibly feel and going on crazy adventures, exploring, learning, discovering things you never thought were possible.
        Living is the best thing you can do with your life.  My advice: try it.  

Friday, July 4, 2014

Day 185

Happy "Independence" Day!

        While we celebrate our "independence" with BBQ's and fireworks, remember how many people died fighting a war just so we could be "free". And while we are actually free from Great Britain, now known as the United Kingdom,  we are not a "free" country. The government just wants us to believe we are. We are owned by corporations, just like the government is run by them.
        So, enjoy this day of pool parties and family get-togethers, drink copious amounts of beer or wine or whatever cocktail you enjoy, and appreciate the world we live in today, because it's all going to change very soon, and not in a good way.

Thursday, July 3, 2014

Day 184

"How would you describe your style of clothing?"

        Comfortable.  Jeans/warm pajama pants and hoodies in the winter, and yoga pants/capris with cami tank tops in the warmer months. I have a few summer dresses and skirts I wear sometimes.  I'm not very "stylish", but I don't care about the latest trends or what color is "in".  I wear what I like.  A lot of black, gray, purple and blue. I'll take comfort over fashion any day. 

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Day 183

"List of everything you ate today."
  • Coffee
  • A blueberry cereal bar 
  • More coffee
  • Half a turkey sub

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Day 182

"Name a celebrity you don’t necessarily enjoy, and why?"

        LOL only one? Okay. I don't think I really need to explain why...