Sunday, August 31, 2014

Day 243

"Have you ever had braces?/Will you ever need braces?"

        No, and maybe? 
        I have what is called a class 3 cross bite. Looks like an under bite, but it's really just a crooked jaw bone. My upper jaw didn't develop fully in utero, so it looks like my lower jaw is bigger, and sticks out a little. 
        Unfortunately, the only way to fix it is to have surgery where they either grind down my lower jaw, or try to extend my upper jaw, and in my eyes, it's so not worth all that pain. I am not a vain person, and I've grown to accept my flaws. Because no one is perfect and there are people in the world with much bigger problems than I. 

Saturday, August 30, 2014

Day 242

"Are you excited for anything right now?"

        School starting next week, even though I am also sad at the same time. Dylan will be home on Monday, that always makes me excited. But I have two whole days, just me and him, and we get to spend some quality Mom and Kiddo time together. My favorite thing in the world to do. 
        Also, my birthday is in a month. The big one. 3-0. Trying to think positive and be optimistic about it all. My twenties were pretty rough and confusing and, not all bad, but it's been a bumpy road, and I'm in a place now where I am ready to put them behind me and become a full-fledged adult. I want to move on from my past, and jump into my future with an open mind, with no anxiety or depression, or anything holding me back.

Friday, August 29, 2014

Day 241

"What are you doing for the next big holiday?"

      Define "big holiday." I wanted to go on a road trip to Maine for my 30th birthday, but since other things have come up, like a giant hole in our bedroom ceiling, having to seal the roof, and possible lawyers fees, I don't think we're going to be able to. We might take a weekend trip to the Adirondack's in October when the leaves turn. Autumn is my favorite season. Halloween my favorite holiday. I swear, one day I will be able to fit into one of those sexy witch costumes...
      Thanksgiving, we normally go to Matt's moms first, then to my Grandparent's house. However, this year, I'm not sure what's going to happen. We don't really have anything planned until it gets closer to that time, anyway. 
        It would be nice to spend one Christmas in Hawaii. Have a palm tree with lights and decorations. Just once, that would be pretty cool. When I become a NY Times Best Selling Author, that's what I'm going to do. 

Thursday, August 28, 2014

Day 240

        I am going to be 30 years old in a month from today. I'm not sure how I feel about this. Will it just be another day? Will I suddenly have a midlife crisis and decide to become a mime? Will I have cake or a fancy dinner and get presents? Probably not. I'm old enough now to know that all that stuff is really for kids, and I've had some pretty awesome birthday parties growing up.
        I think, if I could have a present... it would be to see my best friends. Maybe go out and have dinner with them. Have them all meet. Jackie knows Alyse, and Lindsay and Jackie know of each other because we all went to the same school, but Katie has never met any of them, and I think they'd get along pretty well. I definitely think Alyse and Katie would click because they have similar beliefs, same as I do - all that new age hippie peace freak shit, with potions and spells included.
       I think having friends around, even if only for a few hours, would be the best present in the world. I have been incredibly lonely lately and could really use a friend right about now...

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Day 239

"Have you ever made a time capsule? If yes, with who, do you remember what you put inside? If not, what would you put inside if you had to put something in right now?"

        I believe my class made one in 7th or 8th grade, but I honestly have no idea what or if I even put anything in it. Or where it is... Or even if we did LOL but it sounds familiar.

        And Happy Birthday to my wonderful, generous and loving fiance! I <3 you!

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Day 238

Clearing The Air 

        I do not like when people tell other people things "I said", when I, in fact, did not say them. Because the words always get twisted, blown out of proportion and just plain miscommunicated.
        I told a member of my family something about another member of my family, and I wasn't angry, only slightly annoyed, but because I have a kid, and there are going to be times when I cannot always do something for someone because I have to pick him up from summer camp, or because he's sick or because I'm sick.
        Now, the family member I do this for understands this. The person I feel gets upset with me is another family member that lives in the same house because if I can't take her, that means he has to. My words were, "I don't mind taking her, I just don't understand why he can't sometimes. He has a car that he pays for, yet he never wants to drive it. What's the point of him even having a car, then?"
        Now, as I have said before, I do not mind taking her. Normally, I am bored and need to get out of the house anyway, so it gives me something to do. And it can't be more than a 20 mile round trip, so I'm really not going that far out of my way.
        But another member of my family, who does not particularly care for this person, twisted my words and said that, "Jessica said you're a burden on her and she's sick of taking you shopping every week." {I believe there was more, but I can't remember what else was said. This is also what I was told was said, not what I actually heard. So there is the possibility of her version being skewed as well - but perception is reality.}
       I never said she was a burden on me. I wasn't even upset with this person when I was having the conversation with the other person. I was upset that the person who lives there gets upset with me because I can't take her sometimes. Or I feel he gets upset with me because of the tone in his voice on the phone. Also, my own perception.
        I just wish that people would not twist my words around, because they are angry at someone, and use them as a weapon to make the other person feel bad.
        I am probably one of the few people in my family that understand what this person is going through, on a mentality level. I am not trying to defend her behavior because there are things that she needs to change, and I have told her this many times. However, the more and more people bring her down for what she does, the less likely she will ever get better. She is going to feel worse and worse every day until she can't take it anymore, and I can't say that I would blame her.
        We need to encourage her, instead of discouraging her. Help her to help herself, instead of enabling her.
        It's like that old saying goes about attracting more with sugar over lemons, or something like that? I really wish everyone would stop being so negative and maybe that would give her some hope...

Monday, August 25, 2014

Day 237

"Write a quote from a book or movie that has inspired you, and helped you change your life."

"In relationships we're so used to complaining about other people. My co-workers are so difficult to work with, my husband makes me so mad, my children are so lazy. It's always focusing on the other person. But for relationships to really work, we need to focus on what we appreciate about the other person, not what we're complaining about. When we're complaining about those things we're only getting more of those things. Even if you're having a really hard time in a relationship... things aren't working, you're not getting along, someone's in your face... you still can turn that relationship around. Take a piece of paper, and for the next thirty days, once a day sit down and write all the things that you appreciate about that person. Think about all the reasons that you love them. You appreciate their sense of humor, you appreciate how supportive they are. And what you'll find is that when you focus on appreciating and acknowledging their strengths, that's what you'll get more of. And the problems will fade away." ~ Marci Shimoff, The Secret

Sunday, August 24, 2014

Day 236

"Post a picture of yourself, taken today, and five random facts about yourself."

(Yes, my hair is still wet.)

  1. I love the color purple. 
  2. Purple eye shadow really brings out my brown eyes. 
  3. I hate the stupid fucking Ice Bucket Challenge, because it's completely pointless. There are other ways to raise awareness about ALS than to WASTE WATER!
  4. I have learned that the only way to find peace within myself is to forgive and let go. I deserve to be happy, and Karma works in mysterious ways.
  5. My most recent favorite new musical artist is Tove Lo.

Saturday, August 23, 2014

Day 235

"Write the lyrics to a song that describes how you are feeling right now."

If you ever get close to a human
and human behavior
Be ready, be ready to get confused
and be in my head after

There's definitely, definitely, definitely no logic
to human behavior
But yet so, yet so irresistible
and me and my fear can

And there is no map uncertain

They're terribly, terribly, terribly moody
of human behavior,
Then all of a sudden, turn happy
and they and my here after
But oh, to get involved in the exchange
of human emotions
Is ever so, ever so satisfying
and they and my here on

And there is no map and chair too

Human behavior, human behavior
Human behavior, human behavior

And there is no map
And a compass wouldn't help at all
Yeah, uncertain

Human behavior (x8)

There's definitely, definitely, definitely no logic
To human, to human, to human, to human

~ Human Behavior by Bjork

Friday, August 22, 2014

Day 234

"List some songs you listen to when you're happy."

  • Live Your Life by Yuna
  • Anything Could Happen by Ellie Goulding 
  • Applause by Lady GaGa (or anything by her, she's seriously happy music)
  • Make It Mine by Jason Mraz (and EVERYTHING ELSE by him, because he is a new age hippie peace freak just like me, and so positive! we love him so much!)
  • Clap Your Hands by Sia (and a lot of her other stuff)
  • Brave by Sara Bareilles
  • Catch My Breath by Kelly Clarkson
  • Coconut by Harry Nilsson
  • Down Under by Men At Work 
  • Dancing On My Own by Robyn
  • Don't Rain On My Parade by Lea Michelle
  • Everything's Magic by Angels & Airwaves
  • Habits by Tove Lo
  • Happy by Pharrell 
  • Hard Out There by Lily Allen (and everything else by her)
  • Hearts Like Ours by the Naked and Famous
  • Heroes by David Bowie
  • Home by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zero's
  • Crystalline by Bjork
  • Sing by Ed Sheeran
  • Look at this Instagram by College Humor
  • Magic by Coldplay

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Day 233

"Do you believe in second chances?"

       Yes. And sometimes, third and fourth. But there will eventually come a time when you realize this person is never going to change, no matter how many chances you give them, and you have to cut all ties. A toxic relationship will always be toxic until you get away from the poisonous fumes.

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Day 232

"What do you think about stereotypes?"

        It's a love-hate relationship. They are, a lot of the time, inaccurate and condescending, but also sometimes they can be funny. Although, they tend to be a bit discriminatory. They can have truths to them if they are being referred to groups in a broader and more collective sense, but they can also be damaging when they are applied towards making judgements on individuals of said group.
        One stereotype I can relate to is "trailer trash."  A lot of people don't understand that not all trailer parks are trashy, and not all people living in them are, either. Now, because I live in one, I can tell you that, yes, some people that live here are trashy people. But I also know people who live in apartments and houses that are just as trashy, if not more. 
        So, for me, it's not where you live, it's how you live.

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Day 231

"Do you like when people are protective over you?"

        You know, I don't really know. I never really had that growing up. The only person who has ever really been "protective" over me is Matt. My dad certainly wasn't the protective type, being an alcoholic, and my mom was a little protective, mostly when it came to boys, but she would stick up for me at times. But I've never been in a bad situation where I needed any kind of real protection... no, wait, that's not true. But nobody knew at the time that I needed protection, and the few that did told me that I was old enough to handle it on my own. Which in my case would have been to just kill that person, but don't worry, I obviously didn't.
        So, I guess, sometimes I do, and other times I feel like I can handle it on my own, but it depends on the situation and my current level of anxiety.

Monday, August 18, 2014

Day 230

What I, and every other person in the world with anxiety and depression, am sick and tired of hearing:

If physical diseases were treated like mental illness:

Sunday, August 17, 2014

Day 229

"Are you self-aware?"

Self-Aware (adj) Aware of yourself as an individual or of your own being and actions and thoughts.         Synonym: self-conscious.

        I think I am about some things.  I am aware of my anxiety, I am aware of what I am feeling, however, I don't always know why I am feeling that way. Sometimes, I know it's because I have to do this, this and this today, or I have to see this person, so I am anxious. But sometimes, I have no idea why I am anxious.  I think I am going to start a diary of whenever I am feeling anxious and write down the reason, if I have one. That might help me keep track, and maybe give me a better understanding to what my triggers are. 
        When I am emotional about something, I tend to let my actions take over, and can sometimes, act like a lunatic. Other times, I shut down and stop talking for a while. I don't know which one is worse, but I know neither of these things are healthy. I really have to start taking control of my behavior, even when I don't feel like I have any. 

Saturday, August 16, 2014

Day 228

"What is your favorite city?"

        London... even though I've never actually been there. 

Friday, August 15, 2014

Day 227

"What is the compliment you get most? What is the compliment you give most?"

        I get a lot of compliments on my hair because it's long, and people seem to really like the purple. 
        I give what ever compliments fit, depending on who I am talking to. Sometimes it's an outfit, or their new hair cut, or how amazing their jeans make their ass look.  It can be anything, really.
       And I think you look fabulous!

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Day 226

"What was the last thing you baked?"

        I want to say Salmon (because we don't know how to grill it). I don't like to turn the oven on too much in the summer because it's just too hot, but on cooler days, sometimes I will bake something for dinner, usually some kind of chicken, my kick ass meatloaf (with BBQ sauce, NEVER ketchup!), or salmon. 

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Day 225

"What name would your parents have named you if you were the opposite sex? Did they have a list of names for you?"

        I asked my mother this once, and she didn't remember any boys name they had picked out. She was pretty set on having a girl, so I don't know if they even bothered to pick any boys names out. I want to say I remember hearing something about the name Jordan, but that could easily be something totally different, and have nothing to do with me at all.
        My original name was to be Aubrey Jean, but two weeks before I was born, she changed it to Jessica Lynn because someone told her that Aubrey was a boys name (which it so isn't). My father once told me that he liked/wanted Aubrey or Courtney (bleh). 
        I do like the name Aubrey, but I don't know if it's just because I got stuck with the second most popular name in 1984 and Aubrey is more unique, and I also don't know that if they had named me Aubrey, if I would still like it.

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Day 224

"What were your first thoughts when entering pre-school, kindergarten, middle school, high school and college?"

  1. Pre-school: never went.
  2. Kindergarten: AWESOME!
  3. Middle School: Sucks...
  5. College: AWESOME!! ... and then "holy crap, I suck at this." 
        However, I did manage to graduate both High School and College, even though they both really sucked. 

Monday, August 11, 2014

Day 223

A Very Sad Day

        Today, a childhood hero of mine passed away by means I am far too familiar with. There are no words to express how saddened I am for the loss of this great man. A man who gave so much joy and happiness to the world and the people around him, was internally suffering; something to which I can highly relate.
       I wish him peace now, and his family and loved ones my sincerest condolences.


Sunday, August 10, 2014

Day 222

"What does your name mean according to urban dictionary?"


        1. An extremely common female name.
        2. A wonderful name that means "gracious gift from God".
        3. Jessica is the sweetest girl you will ever meet. She is known to be the sexiest person who walked the planet. Boys get nervous when around her and a lot of boys have a crush on her. Jessica is aspired to by others. She will show you a good time and also has a crazy/wild side to her. When you meet a Jessica, you will have a hard time forgetting her! She falls in love easily and loves to laugh. But she has a down side to her, like every girl, she has great shyness. When she falls in love, she falls deep. Boys love her! Jessica in a term means goddess. She has incredible looks. When you find a Jessica, don't let her go! Shes beautiful, talented and guys like to often flirt with her, but she doesn't take that to heart. She isn't perfect, but then again, who is? She's very artistic. Boys are lucky to have her! She's also very supportive and a great friend! She speaks her mind and doesn't care what people think! She has great eyes and hair. Jessica is very loyal and open. She is loved by lots of people and even people whom she might not know about! She is an all round amazing person who everyone is grateful to have in their lives.
        4. The absolute most perfect person on the planet. No arguments. Everything about this girl is so amazing that she is sometimes thought to be an angel or goddess. She is the most beautiful girl to live on this planet. She will deny that, but it is a true fact and everybody knows it. She is the kindest, most caring person ever who will do anything to make you feel special. And she has the cutest laugh, smile, face, and pretty much anything else you can think of.

        5. There is more to her name than the popularity of it. The most incredible woman in the world. Her smile can light up a room. She is also brilliantly beautiful and intelligent. She can be very witty and sassy.

        There are a lot more... but, holy crap... seriously?? 

Saturday, August 9, 2014

Day 221

"Have you ever cried about a movie? If so, which one, or ones?"

        YES. SO MANY.
        Homeward Bound. Up. Toy Story 3. Harry Potter 4, 5, 6 and 8. The Fault In Our Stars. The Perks Of Being A Wallflower. Big Fish. Meet The Robinsons. Titanic. Step Mom. Pay It Forward. The Lion King. The Fox & The Hound. P.S. I Love You. Bridge to Terabithia. I Am Sam. Cast Away. Forrest Gump. Radio Flyer. Tuck Everlasting. An American Tail. 
        There's more, I just can think of them at the moment. 
       Also, there is one episode of Doctor Who that makes me cry every time I watch it; Vincent and The Doctor. It's one of my favorite episodes, but it always gets me. 

Friday, August 8, 2014

Day 220

"Who is the person closest to your heart? How do you know them?"

        His name is Dylan, and he is my son. 

Thursday, August 7, 2014

Day 219

"Name a talent you have."

       Well, I can honestly say that I am an expert in procrastinating
        I also write, sometimes, really good poetry and stories. But I can be a bit biased, I mean, my characters are like my children; I created them, I give them life, only exception is that I can control everything they do, as for my child, not so much. He has a mind of his own.

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Day 218

"Who/what can’t you live without?"

        My pookie, my fiance, my cat, coffee, gilmore girls, books, music, journals, the internet, my phone, and now, my car! :-)

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Day 217

"If your six-year-old self looked at you now, what would their reaction be?"

        Holy crap, why do I have so much excess fat?
       (I really did love salad when I was a kid.)

Monday, August 4, 2014

Day 216

"List of some of your favorite tumblr accounts."

        I used to have my own personal tumblr, but I deleted it after I began to realize I was too old for tumblr, however, I still have my Inspired Spirit, random acts of kindness account. 
        Some of my favorite Tumblr's are:

Sunday, August 3, 2014

Day 215

"What were some of your favorite songs when you were ten years old?"

        Ok, well, I was 10 in September 1994, so... here are a few of my favorites from that time period. 

  • Ace Of Base - The Sign
  • All-4-One - I Swear
  • Mariah Carey - Hero
  • Lisa Loeb - Stay
  • Elton John - Can You Feel The Love Tonight
  • Salt-N-Pepa - Shoop
  • Enigma - Return To Innocence
  • Meat Loaf - I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)
  • Tag Team- Whoomp! (There It Is)
  • Snoop Doggy Dogg - Gin And Juice (SO not allowed to like that song lol)
  • Real McCoy - Another Night
  • Gabrielle - Dreams
  • Brandy - I Wanna Be Down

Saturday, August 2, 2014

Day 214

"What is the most quotable movie? List a few of your favorite quotes?"

The Neverending Story

Atreyu: I will not die easily. I am a warrior!
G'mork: Ha! Brave warrior, then fight the Nothing.
Atreyu: But I can't! I can't get beyond the boundaries of Fantasia!
[G'mork laughs and Atreyu gets a little angry]
Atreyu: What's so funny about that?
G'mork: Fantasia has no boundaries.
Atreyu: That's not true! You're lying.
G'mork: Foolish boy. Don't you know anything about Fantasia? It's the world of human fantasy. Every part, every creature of it, is a piece of the dreams and hopes of mankind. Therefore, it has no boundaries.
Atreyu: But why is Fantasia dying, then?
G'mork: Because people have begun to lose their hopes and forget their dreams. So the Nothing grows stronger.
Atreyu: What is the Nothing?
G'mork: It's the emptiness that's left. It's like a despair, destroying this world. And I have been trying to help it.
Atreyu: But why?
G'mork: Because people who have no hopes are easy to control; and whoever has the control... has the power!

Friday, August 1, 2014

Day 213

"List the movies and TV shows you’ll never get sick of watching."

  • Lord of the Rings/The Hobbit (all of them - we have marathons)
  • Harry Potter
  • Star Trek (the new ones)
  • Inception
  • Stardust (this movie ALWAYS inspires me to write)
  • The Golden Compass
  • The Invention of Lying
  • Princess Bride
  • Big Fish
  • Practical Magic
  • The Neverending Story

  • Gilmore Girls
  • Doctor Who
  • Sherlock
  • The Big Bang Theory
  • The Simpsons