Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Day 238

Clearing The Air 

        I do not like when people tell other people things "I said", when I, in fact, did not say them. Because the words always get twisted, blown out of proportion and just plain miscommunicated.
        I told a member of my family something about another member of my family, and I wasn't angry, only slightly annoyed, but because I have a kid, and there are going to be times when I cannot always do something for someone because I have to pick him up from summer camp, or because he's sick or because I'm sick.
        Now, the family member I do this for understands this. The person I feel gets upset with me is another family member that lives in the same house because if I can't take her, that means he has to. My words were, "I don't mind taking her, I just don't understand why he can't sometimes. He has a car that he pays for, yet he never wants to drive it. What's the point of him even having a car, then?"
        Now, as I have said before, I do not mind taking her. Normally, I am bored and need to get out of the house anyway, so it gives me something to do. And it can't be more than a 20 mile round trip, so I'm really not going that far out of my way.
        But another member of my family, who does not particularly care for this person, twisted my words and said that, "Jessica said you're a burden on her and she's sick of taking you shopping every week." {I believe there was more, but I can't remember what else was said. This is also what I was told was said, not what I actually heard. So there is the possibility of her version being skewed as well - but perception is reality.}
       I never said she was a burden on me. I wasn't even upset with this person when I was having the conversation with the other person. I was upset that the person who lives there gets upset with me because I can't take her sometimes. Or I feel he gets upset with me because of the tone in his voice on the phone. Also, my own perception.
        I just wish that people would not twist my words around, because they are angry at someone, and use them as a weapon to make the other person feel bad.
        I am probably one of the few people in my family that understand what this person is going through, on a mentality level. I am not trying to defend her behavior because there are things that she needs to change, and I have told her this many times. However, the more and more people bring her down for what she does, the less likely she will ever get better. She is going to feel worse and worse every day until she can't take it anymore, and I can't say that I would blame her.
        We need to encourage her, instead of discouraging her. Help her to help herself, instead of enabling her.
        It's like that old saying goes about attracting more with sugar over lemons, or something like that? I really wish everyone would stop being so negative and maybe that would give her some hope...

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